Well that headline got your attention! I make no apologies for using it because it shows that, despite recent stress and starting only sixth at Monza, Sebastian Vettel still has a sense of humour.
He said tonight that if he wants to he could live up to the expectations of his critics after Spa and be a “bowling ball,” taking out his title rivals in tomorrow’s race. Fortunately the German was only joking. I think…
“According to all the experts speaking up lately about giving me driving lessons and so on, I’m not sure what I want to do,” he said. “Either I can follow the experts and how they analysed it, I can be a bowling ball and try to get rid of the five cars ahead, or approach the race as I usually do, normal, and just try to do the smartest I can do…”
Despite his grid position, Seb is pretty hopeful of a good race: “It’s a long race tomorrow, we know it’s not an easy one, because simply we are not the quickest, we don’t have the pace here, we don’t have the speed on the straights, so we see what we can do.
“I think it will depend on the ambient temperature, how hot it is going to be. If it is hotter like this afternoon it might favour the people with more downforce on the car. For instance, someone like Jenson, who has more wing on the car. It you want to judge us, I think our hands are tied. They were tied before we came here already, simply because we know we don’t have enough power to play around, and try different options. What we have is what we have, and we have to deal with it.”
Meanwhile Mark Webber has his own unusual turn of phrase today. Asked whether he would take risks or adopt a cautious approach and just try to log some points, he said: “Yeah, Grandma Jones is not going to help me. But the chequered flag is also important.”
Who was Grandma Jones? A relative of Bob Dylan’s Mr Jones perhaps? Or of a previous Aussie F1 star? It had everyone reaching for the Encyclopedia of Australian Culture – or would have done if anyone could find one.
We think he was trying to say something like being cautious, or driving like an old lady, was not going to win him the World Championship…